Love Letters: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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Valentine’s Day will be here in less than a month, so I expect to get a flood of questions from starry-eyed lovers, or people cutting dead weight so they won’t have to buy gifts.

And speaking of that:

Send your inquiries to edward@soulinstereo.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

How do you tell someone that it’s a new year and I don’t wanna bring that person into my new year without being harsh?

Let Them Down Easy, RS

Playa, let’s be real. New year or not, you’re asking how you can dump this dude. And there is never an easy way to cut someone off.

Here’s how I dumped girls in my pimpin’ past:

– Stopped accepting the girl’s calls

– Told a mutual friend to relay the message that is was over

And probably worst of all:

– When a someone asked in the middle of class “Are you and so-and-so a couple?” I loudly replied, “Not anymore.”

Yeah, don’t do ANY of that stuff. Sometimes I’m surprised I was never assaulted by a rabid pack of women. Like piranha, y’all tend to attack as a group.

Anyway, I don’t care what Cosmo or Steve Harvey tells you, there is no easy way to break up with someone. The best thing you can do is soften the blow. I’ve found that the only way to do that is with honesty. Don’t beat around the bush, don’t make a ton of excuses, don’t throw all his faults in his face – just say that you don’t think things are working out (while you’re at it, give a clear reason WHY) and that you’re ready to move on. Be clear, concise and stand your ground. Oh, and leave the attitude at home.

Depending on the maturity of your man, he might yell, call you names, cry like a baby or just walk off without a word. But it’s your decision, stand by it. You aren’t obligated to be in a relationship with anyone. It’s not easy but if things aren’t working, don’t continue to waste your time – or his.