The search for your perfect mate ends here!
Well, probably not. But read on, I'll help you out. Come here for honesty, not optimism.
Send your inquiries to email@example.com, or find me on twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname.
Here's today's question:
Where are the eligible brothers at?
On the prowl
Man, you should have told me. I just stopped by Target. I could have picked up a couple Eligible Brothers on the aisle with the black-eyed peas and the baby butt cream.
Makes your skin as smooth as a baby's bottom! But I guess that's the point.
I hate when ladies say "where da good men at?" like they can be snatched off the shelves at Walgreens. Men are also guilty of this when searching for the perfect woman.
Sorry, playas, anything worth having takes work.
By "work," I don't mean spending tons of money, e-stalking or texting your victim for hours on end. Depsite what you've been told, those are dead ends. First, ladies, you need to work on yourselves.
Time for some self-examination - are you ready to be in a committed relationship? Are you still hanging on to somebody from the past? Are you bitter and jaded following a bad breakup? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, stop reading this right now and join us for next week's column. Unfortunately, your vision is so clouded that you'd likely miss a good thing if he came along.
If your focus is clear, where can you lay your eyes on your prize? Um, pretty much anywhere. At work, at church, at school, at the coffee shop, at the bookstore, at the automotive shop, at Bed Bath and Beyond - we good men are everywhere. Don't sit at home with your arms folded saying "there ain't no good men NOWHERE" - get up and get out. Your soul mate won't randomly burst through the wall.
Unless your soul mate is made of glass and filled with ghetto nectar.
I'm convinced there are even good guys in maligned places like the club or on Internet dating sites. I have at least three friends who have found their spouses in those places and they've all been married for years.
The reason why good guys seem to be so hard to find is because in the haste to find Mr. Right, ladies settle for just about anything - Mr Right Now, Mr. Right Tonight, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, any old loser will do. Recognize what you want in a guy and refuse to settle for less. My family used to give me grief because I was so picky in my dating days. My grandma would say: "You'll never get a wife being so picky." My reply? "Guess you ain't getting any grandkids. I'm not settling."
I have a wife and sadly, grandma still doesn't have any grandkids.
Anyway, finding eligible brothers is easy if you:
- Are willing to be a great partner
- Recognize a good guy when you see one
- Have patience
Good men are all around. It's just easy to miss 'em if you lack focus.