Love Letters: Witnessing Disaster

Hey, Love Letters fans, once again we’re running low on submissions.  If you have a burning question about the opposite sex, here’s your chance for a quick response. You know what to do:

Ladies, send your inquiries to, or find me on twitter at @etbowser. Dudes, you can get in touch with Javacia at Just provide your initials, or a fun nickname. 

Here’s today’s question:

How can some men waste so much time dating and ultimately marrying the wrong woman?

I Saw It Coming

Well, it’s probably because they don’t read Love Letters!

I guess it’s pretty pointless to drop a cheap plug into a column that you’re already reading, but I have no shame.

But back to the question. How often do we shake our heads, saying “how can he/she put up with that loser?” It’s really easy to say that when you’re on the outside looking in. When a guy is blinded by love or lust, or is just ignoring gigantic neon signs that clearly say “run for your life,” they don’t see the oncoming disaster.

And although it’s tough, sometimes it takes a strong close friend to pull a guy aside and inform the him that his relationship is headed for the rocks.

Notice I said “strong close friend.” Ladies, if you have your eyes on a guy and you know his relationship is in trouble, in most cases it’s not your place to tell him to dump his current girl. Why? Because even if you mean well, it’ll make you look like an underhanded, scheming hater. If you know without a shadow of a doubt that his girlfriend is truly doing something evil (and I mean, “poke holes in the condom and turn the baby over to the devil” evil) maybe then you can speak up – and perhaps have one of the guy’s “strong close friends” to relay the information. But just because you think something might be going on – or simply because you don’t like his girlfriend – doesn’t give you clearance to run up in the guy’s business.

 Life is about learning from our mistakes. We’ve all had bad relationships and what we take from those experiences make us better people. But hopefully lessons are learned before children and wedding rings are involved. If a guy is mature enough to be in a relationship, he should be mature enough to handle any unfortunate consequences.

And, after all, the guy should have been reading Love Letters anyway.


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