Childless by Choice: Report finds more American women not having children

There’s an older woman at my former church in Louisville, Ky., who has a talent for being inappropriate. She says things like, “I hope you don’t end up like your sister,” and “You sure have gained a lot of weight.” 


One day I ran into her at the grocery store and as we stood surveying overpriced milk I expected she’d just make small talk about the weather or upcoming church events. Instead, out of nowhere, she asks, “So when are you and your husband going to start a family?”

After shaking off the shock, I smiled and simply said, “Oh, not for awhile.” She gave a funny look that let me know she was not satisfied with my answer. 


Now that I’ve moved back to my hometown I get this question constantly, not only from church ladies but also cousins, uncles, aunts and friends. 


I’ve written in past blog posts and columns that I’m not 100-percent sure I even want to be a mother. When I share this with people some seem shocked. Others, especially those who are parents, seem downright offended, as if I’m somehow implying I think it’s foolish to have kids, which is certainly not the case. I greatly admire good parents and perhaps one day I’ll join their ranks. But right now, I’m just not sure. 


Reuters reports that a recent study by the Pew Research Center found that perhaps I’m not as strange and folks like the tactless church lady may think I am. According to the report nearly 20 percent of older women do not have children, compared to 10 percent in the 1970s. 

I know that “start a family” is just a phrase people use to mean “get knocked up,” but the truth of the matter is my husband and I are a family, with or without a kid. We have memories, traditions and unconditional love for each other. Isn’t that what a real family is all about?