A Time to Love
Many folks around the world celebrate what’s known as Loving Day on June 13. Loving Day is a global network of annual celebration and an educational campaign focused on fighting racial prejudice by building multicultural community.
The name “Loving Day” comes from Loving v. Virginia (1967), the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalized interracial marriage in the United States. (Isn’t it absolutely perfect that their last name was Loving?!)
The Associated Press reported recently that though interracial relationships have continued to rise, they’ve slowed in recent years except among blacks. The number of interracial marriages in the U.S. has risen 20 percent since 2000 to about 4.5 million, according to the latest census figures. While still growing, that number is a marked drop-off from the 65 percent increase between 1990 and 2000.
In contrast, blacks are now three times as likely to marry whites than in 1980. About 14.4 percent of black men and 6.5 percent of black women are currently in such mixed marriages.
I’ve written about interracial relationships a few times here at Georgia Mae. I think real love is beautiful, regardless of skin tone, but there’s a trend I’m noticing that is quite troubling.
A friend of mine told me recently he’s only dating “Asian, white, and Hispanic chicks” now, because he’s tired of black women. Last year there was a website of photographs of well-known black men who are currently married or dating outside of their race. This gallery of photos wasn’t simply a celebration of love, but instead an attack on black women, posing the question: “Is it possible that some sisters are driving brothers away?”
More and more I hear people speaking of dating someone because that person is of a different race. That is just as offensive as refusing to date someone because they are of a different race. It’s called a racial fetish. It means you are exoticizing that person and when you cast someone as an other you will never see that man or woman as your equal, even if you don’t realize it, or as an individual. They will just be some little conquest of yours. And that’s disgusting. You should be with a person because you adore them inside and out, not because you’ve decided to “give this white girl thing a try.”
If you think you’re the object of a racial fetish check out How to Know You are Dating a Racist. Some of my favorites:
3. They ask you on the first date if (insert with ethnicity) girls are as (insert with ethnicity related explicit sexual act) as people say they are. It’s like sexist racist mad libs, really.
5. They ask you if they can touch your hair or skin or eyelash or eyelid before you have even kissed.
6. They want to know why your family acts like “that.”
10. They say they noticed you because you look “exotic.”
The video for Alicia Keys’ latest single “Unthinkable,” which is one of my favorite songs, delves into the issue of interracial love and has caused quite a buzz. The video stars Chad Michael Murray as Keys’ white lover, and shows reincarnations of the same interracial couple across several different decades, suggesting that from the ’40s up to today interracial relationships still face prejudice.
Writers like Thea Lim point find fault with the video as it primarily depicts only black people being angry about the relationship. Click here for her complete analysis. If you haven’t seen the video yet, check it out below and let me know what you think.
Meanwhile, don’t forget about Loving Day. Many celebrations kickoff today. Visit LovingDay.org to find one near you.
You beat me to the A. Keys video. I was very disappointed. I expected a creative commentary on interracial dating – what I saw was the same ol’ cliches: White guy pulls up in front of the house in a raggedy truck, grouchy brother tries to fight him, girl looking pensive, ugh.