Edd’s MANtra: The Chris Brown Conspiracy

Did y’all know Chris Brown’s latest album, Graffiti, was released last week?

Probably not, because I doubt y’all bought it. And that’s why Chris Breezy has been whining. Check this out, from this Twitter page:

im tired of this sh*t. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f**k do i gotta do… … yeah i said it and i aint retracting sh*t im not biting my tongue about sh*t else… the industry can kiss my a**,”

Waah, waah, waah.

According to him, his album sales have been slow because he is being blackballed by retailers. Of course, I’m sure it didn’t cross his mind that maybe people just don’t like him anymore.

But I don’t like being the bearer of bad news.

Who am I kidding, of course I do. But he wasn’t done fussing yet:

“JUST WAS AT WALMART IN Wallingford CT,844 north colony.. the didnt even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself.”

Billboard.com decided to investigate for themselves. According to surveys and store visits, Best Buy, Wal-Mart and others all have the album. So there.

I spent a lot of time shopping last week and I saw plenty of copies of that coaster lying around. I wouldn’t mind getting a copy to review but I’m not going to spend my hard-earned money on it, especially on the same week the Clipse’s new album was released (rap fans, after reading this post go get that album immediately).

Maybe that’s the problem. His sales woes might not be because the music industry is out to get him – maybe his stuff just sucks. His new single, “Crawl,” gives me acid reflux. Plus, he lost most of his fan base (i.e., little girls who don’t know any better) after the Rihanna fiasco. Still, “I Can Transform Ya,” did pretty well and Graffiti is projected to sell 100,000 copies in its first week, which isn’t horrible but is a huge dropoff from his last release.

I hate to admit it, but if he wanted to rebound from his bad press, he should have pulled an R. Kelly. That man admitted on national TV that he chases after teenagers but as long as he continues to put out catchy songs like “Number One,” no one cares. For Kellz, it was just business as usual. You never heard him whining about retailers.

Chris better stop complaining about Wal-Mart if he knows what’s good for him. At this rate, he’s already on track to wear a blue smock and hand out smiley-face stickers to little kids at a SuperCenter near you.



  1. yeah what a way to show your age. not a clipse fan but did hear the new album was good =)

  2. “OMG, I don’t understand why no one will buy my albums, even though probably 90% of my fan base is girls and — OOPS — I like to beat girls”

    Chris Brown is an idiot, and it’s a shame because I really did enjoy listening to his music. But I (and I’m sure many other women/parents) don’t want to listen to him sing about *women* or *relationships* when he clearly doesn’t know how to handle either.

    He’s just pissed he got caught, and now he’s suffering the consequences.

  3. I was in Target just last night and I was looking at CDs to see if there were any news one that I wanted to buy and what did I spot? Chris Brown’s new CD. I did not get it but it was there.

    I want Chris Brown to do some maturing. Don’t blame others for your problems. Accept responsibility and hopefully he will be able to move past all of this one day. So sad to see that talent go down the drain.

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