Edd’s MANtra: Say No to Swine

People, we need to do better.

A few days ago, I accompanied the wife on a trip to K-Mart (yeah, they still exist) to pick up roughly $500 worth of hair-care products. Apparently it takes a lot of work to keep her hair from frizzing up like Florida Evans.

Anyway, while walking to the register, we passed a display full of impulse items. You know the type – small bags of chips, chewing gum, pens – things you just grab at the spur of the moment.

You’ll never guess what was prominently featured on this stand:

YES. Small jars of pigs’ feet! UGH!

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I asked the wifey “Are those really mini jars of pigs’ feet?” She replied “Welcome to Alabama, baby.”

I thought you could only get pigs feet from those shady ghetto butchers who sell such delicacies as cow tongue and chitlins. I only see stuff like that once a year, when someone’s aunt brings a stinky pot of that crap over for the holidays.

Who thought portable pigs’ feet was a good idea? “Oh, I’ll pick up some Trident and a couple of jars of vinegar-soaked globs of fat.”

At the risk of losing credibility, I’ll mention that I’ve never tried pigs’ feet. Maybe I’m missing out on greatest convenience since bottled water.

But I seriously doubt it.

People, put the pig down.



  1. LOL! hilarious. did you buy a jar?
    ill have your souse meat this weekend. LOL

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.