Don’t fake the funk

The gals over at are having a great discussion on faking orgasms and just how un-feminist it is to do so.

The discussion was sparked by a survey cited in Michael Kimmel’s new book, Guyland. In the survey folks dished on their satisfaction with recent hookups and it was found that only 19 percent of the women reported having an orgasm, as compared to 44 percent of the men. When women received cunnilingus, only about a quarter experienced an orgasm, though the men who reported they had performed cunnilingus on their partner reported that she had an orgasm almost 60 percent of the time. And with regard to intercourse, women reported an orgasm 34 percent of the time while the men reported that the women had an orgasm 58 percent of the time.

In other words, if you are faking orgasms ladies, it seems like you’re not alone. Now, we all know faking it is lame because we ladies deserve to be pleased and faking it only encourages your lover to keep doing the same tired moves. But how do you tell your bedroom buddy to step his game up without crushing the poor guy’s ego? I had this conversation with some guy and gal pals of mine this summer (over brunch, of all places) but we couldn’t agree on the best way to break the news.

So now I’m asking you. If your lover was failing to satisfy you in bed, how would you let him (or her) know? And if you were sub-par in that department, would you want to know the truth?



  1. well, having been party to said discussion, you already know my stance on it..however, for the sake of those who were not party to the brunch, I will give you my stance…there is no right time to say “baby, you don’t do it for me.” if you are in the most open and honest relationship in the world, it is still going to feel like a building just fell and landed directly on your scrotum (speaking from a guy’s perspective of course). I am sure a mature guy would get over it (I am not sure if I have evolved to that level of maturity). However, if he (or she) asks, then it is fair game.

  2. Yeah I agree, faking is lame and should be handled. Chances are just a few changes here and there will go a mighty long way. I’d say breaking the news depends on the type of relationship you have, because I don’t think this is a clear-cut, one method works for all type of situation..if it was me tho, I’d want to know..not being satisfied is one of the first excuses a person gives for being unfaithful, so I’d rather have it be known so we (or I lol) can work on it together.

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